She accepted my apologies with laughing graciousness and did nothing to discourage me.Even though it was fairly dark, there were other people not too far off so I pointed at the silhouette of some trees near the shore and said I wanted to go over there. She agreed and laughed a little nervously when I picked her up in my arms and began to carry her over to them. The back of her dress was hanging down where her knees were hooked over my arm, and I think we were both aware that the backs of her thighs were pressing against me there.I'm sure she hadn't been planning to get sexually involved with me. When I put her on her feet in the shelter of the trees and pulled her to me, she put her hands against my shoulders as if to push me away, and said, "Jonathan!" in a way that made me think her next word would be either "No!" or Stop!" But when I kissed her, she offered no resistance, opening her mouth to my insistent tongue, her hands now holding tightly to my shoulders. This was even more. I could only look, but never touch Joanna, which was fine with both ofus. She was engaged when I hired her and had long since married thetalented mechanic that I liked to bring my car to when it needed work.I got enough thrill out of just seeing her dressed up nicely. It was oneof the few thrills of my job. I loved looking at what the girls aroundme wore. I kept track of the intricate details of what they wore.I often fantasized about wearing clothes like them and, on not a fewoccasions, I went out and bought outfits that were similar. I likedspending time pretending I was Joanna or one of the office girls andeven one of my saleswomen.The idea of being feminine was my main source of arousal for decades andhad really become my old source over the last few years. I sometimesfelt that some of the girls had to know, but none of them ever led me tobelieve they did besides Joanna.Joanna was my personal secretary. She scheduled my affairs with me andspent more time with me than any other.
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